The Script So Far: Jasper and Eltana

(As the narrator speaks, we see the world of _______(?). We see the people in the old times, see the split, and then see the two new civilizations living their separate ways.)

Narrator:
The land of _______(?) had long experienced an uneasy peace. Centuries ago, its peoples were one, but now they lived divided. In the Old Times, the gods had watched over all their people, but then, for reasons they did not understand, there was a split and half their people forsook them, moving out of the protective forests and constructing large cities powered by pressurized water. By steam. They began calling themselves Steampunks (?). As they advanced, they began to view their brothers who remained with the gods as lower beings, uncivilized, even savage. Likewise, those who remained began calling themselves Spirituals (?) and started to distrust the Steampunks (?), fearing they would one day attempt to annihilate them and also loathing how they corrupted the environment with their pollution. And so tensions escalated with each generation and they soon forgot that they had ever been one people…

(Scene fades to Jasper bent over welding two sheets of metal together in a place that looks like the combination of a mechanic’s and a blacksmith. Two men enter. They are mid conversation.)

Milo:
-can’t be trusted! We need to take action now! I’ve been sayin’ it for years and I still say it!

Man 2:
Yes but Milo, stop and think. We can’t afford a full scale war with them. We still don’t know all they’re capable of.

Milo:
What can they do? Pray to their gods? Their gods won’t save ‘em. Nothing could stop us! Especially once Jasper and I finish up this last order.
(He gestures to the metal Jasper is welding and then to the large pile of completed guns stacked in the corner.)

Man 2:
What are they? I’ve never seen anything like them?

Milo:
They’re a new prototype gun. They shoot _____ (flames or plasma/energy) (?). They have to be hooked up to one of these generator backpacks but considering the powerfulness of the weapon, the weight of the pack is worth it.

Man 2:
Are you making these for the army? I mean, was it a commission?

Milo:
Yep.

Man 2:
So then…Does this mean we’re actually going to war?

Milo:
I dunno. I think they just wanna have ‘em on hand. Incase those savages decide to try anything…funny.

(Morning in the Spiritual village. [Eltana’s sister] comes in to wake Eltana up for morning chores. [Sister] is older but Eltana is more mature. They are a year apart, grew up together, and are best friends.)

[Sister]
Eltana. Hey, Eltana. Wake up.
(Kneels down next to her, rubbing her shoulder to wake her.)
Eltana. Come on. Get up.

Eltana
Mmhmmm…
(She begins to stir, slowly waking.)

[Sister]
(Shakes her shoulder a little harder.)
Hey. Come on. Time to get up. We have chores.

Eltana
(Mummbles) I dun wanna…
(She pulls the covers up over her head and rolls onto her side facing away from [Sister].)

Eeeeeeeee.

I always imagined that the reason the Steampunks split originally is just because of technology. Like say a bunch of them started bettering themselves through technology, and those more traditional people didn't really like what that would mean for the forest and such, and eventually they just kind of broke off.

Also, question: got any ideas for what Milo looks like? :DDD Or Eltana's sister? Also man, we should be making threads for names, but I'm just really... I'm nameless. ;_; at the moment. Making the forum made me wiped out creatively.

I don't blame you! I don't really wanna think of names now either.

Uhm, Milo...I kinda pictured him as a bit overweight, maybe balding with a mustache?
Eltana's sister I got nothing. Similar to Eltana I guess but...nothing other than that.


*Also as a note, places in the text with (?) means it need help. A name, an idea, a permanent definition of the object, whatever. Brainstorm and let me know if anyone get's anything!

They’re a new prototype gun. They shoot _____ (flames or plasma/energy) (?). They have to be hooked up to one of these generator backpacks but considering the powerfulness of the weapon, the weight of the pack is worth it.

This word that I've highlighted should be "power". >w< It sounds wrong when you say 'powerfulness' and considering it's an awkward word.... *ninjas off*

I know but Milo isn't too educated. I considered making it sound proper but I decided to leave it like this in the end. It could go either way though.

Ahhhh, good point.

Going to go out on a limb here and try to make a Milo slur:

Dey’re a new protatype gun. Dey shoot _____ (flames or plasma/energy) (?). Dey hafta be hooked up t'one o'dese generatah backpacks but considerin' deh pow'fulness of deh weapon, deh weight o' deh pack is worth it.

Also a suggestion for the above - the word plasma is too futuristic for steampunk. Perhaps fire or electricity would be more type-cast for them?

OK, so slur Milo up and I guess I'll go with electricity? So like, shooting bolts? Like zap and then it stops? Then you'd have to shoot again?

In band I was thinking about liquid nitrogen, you know with the (literally) flash freezing

Liquid Nitrogen seems too unstable to be weaponize, especially by Steampunk standards. Electricity can be transferred to the target using wire making it a better opinion. Also the use of "Steam," can be used to propel most objects. See what I'm say? So although cool, no pun inteneded, its a unrealitic idea for the Steampunks.

Is steam punk up for muskets and such? I really don't have much knowledge about steampunk culture persay, it's just a kind of a new thing for me still. ^_^;;

Are/Can we engineer awesome sauce'em weapons and such??